Parents worldwide have proposed a new group of events that showcase the everyday heroics required to raise children. These proposed events promise to be as grueling as the triathlon. 1. The Family Dog Walk The… Read More »5 New Olympic Events Submitted by Parents
In an unprecedented move, 13-year-old Brandon “Tired Bones” Hayden announced yesterday that he will be stepping down from his longstanding position as Commander and Chief of Chores. Citing reasons of fatigue, mental decline, and bad… Read More »Teenage Boy Announces He Will Step Down from Chore Duties, Younger Sister Takes the Reins
“I just know it’s true,” Evan declared, jumping up and down repeatedly, trying to peek over the privacy fence into his neighbor’s fabled lawn. “I’ve heard the stories. Everyone at school says the grass is… Read More »Kid Convinced Grass is Greener on Other Side of Neighbor’s Fence
Summer is here, and that means one thing: it’s time to watch in horror as your lawn turns into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Why fight it? Embrace the inevitable chaos with these five activities guaranteed to… Read More »5 Summer Activities Sure to Ruin Your Lawn
This week, a groundbreaking advancement in drone technology has overbearing parents nationwide sighing in relief and children hiding in terror. Drone manufacturer HoverHawk released their latest product: the Helicopter Parent, a drone designed to provide… Read More »New Helicopter Parent Drone Takes Overbearing Parenting to New Heights
In a surprising twist that has sent shockwaves through the educational television community, beloved children’s entertainer Ms. Rachel has officially taken over Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. The first order of business? Retiring the iconic overalls for… Read More »Ms. Rachel Trades Her Overalls for a Cardigan as She Takes Over Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood
6-year-old Mark Buffet has posed a question that has left his mother, Nancy Buffet, both bewildered and concerned: “Mom, are there any other fairies like the Tooth Fairy that pay money for human body parts?”… Read More »“Are There Other Fairies Like The Tooth Fairy That Pay Money For Human Body Parts?” Asks Child to Shocked Mom
In what can only be described as a desperate cry for help, local mother of two, Karen Torrance, has reached the breaking point after enduring her 32nd consecutive Blippi video. Blippi, the beloved children’s YouTube… Read More »Mom Driven Insane by Blippi Screams ‘So Much to Learn About, Makes You Wanna Shout. Shoot Me!’
In a scene not too uncommon in today’s world, local dad Alan Devlin reassured his high school son, Keith, with an enthusiastic “You got this!” to cover for having absolutely no idea how to help… Read More »“You Got This” Assures Father Who Doesn’t Know How To Help with His Son’s Algebra Homework
KinderCare announced today that, effective immediately, the cost of child care will require parents to sacrifice an arm or a leg—possibly both if they desire premium services such as snacks, lunch, and sunscreen. “Given the… Read More »KinderCare Announces Daycare Costs Will Now Include an Arm, Leg, or Possibly Both
