Local woman Jessica O’Malley, age 39, embarked on a daring home renovation project this week, impulsively stripping and painting her kitchen cabinets a trendy shade of sage green in a desperate attempt to fill the… Read More »Local Mom Paints Kitchen Cabinets a Trendy Sage Green In Attempt To Fill Gaping Void In Soul
In a chilling glimpse into the future of maternal instincts, 8-year-old Emily Andersen treatment of her pet hamster, Mr. Whiskers, has reportedly sent shockwaves through their sleepy suburb, raising concerns about her potential parenting style… Read More »Treatment of Pet Hamster by Girl Chilling Foreshadowing of How She Will Parent Her Future Children
Nosey local woman, Sofia Snoopington, spent the better part of Saturday morning staring out of her living room window, pondering the profound question that she assumes the whole neighborhood is wondering: Is Shelby Stashmore next… Read More »Woman Contemplates Whether Neighbor is Organizing a Yard Sale or Undergoing a Hoarding Intervention
The AFC Championship game was interrupted with a bombshell that had fans and football enthusiasts alike doing a double-take: she’s pregnant! But that’s not all—Swift, notorious for her clever album easter eggs, shared that she’s… Read More »Taylor Swift Interrupts AFC Championship Trophy Presentation to Announce Pregnancy with Baby Girl Named Kelsey
Applebee’s Date Night Pass
The hopes of one large family has been plunged into a nightmare. Their mother’s recent purchase of an extra large mixing bowl has crushed their hopes of ever escaping the dreaded bowl haircut that all… Read More »Siblings in Shock as Mom Buys Extra Large Bowl, Shattering Dreams of Escaping Dreaded Bowl Haircut
In a suburban home strikingly similar to every other house on the block, local mom Karen Patterson has reportedly issued her 487th consecutive threat that she will undoubtedly not follow through. Witnesses report that it’s… Read More »“Stop or I’ll Say Stop Again!” Yells Mom Known for Empty Threats
Reports confirm that millions of children nationwide woke up at ungodly hours this morning, completely disregarding the extra hour of sleep afforded by the end of Daylight Savings Time. Instead, they took it upon themselves… Read More »Nation’s Parents Frustrated as Children Disregard Extra Hour of Sleep Due to Daylight Savings Time Ending
Amazon has always been an innovator and their new product has all the parents talking. Today at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, Amazon has unveiled their newest product the Fire Sticky, a tablet… Read More »Amazon Introduces Fire Sticky: Pre-sticky Tablet Straight from the Factory
Not Me, an 8-year-old living in an undisclosed American suburb, is currently serving an estimated 30 life sentences of grounding after being blamed for broken windows, carpet stains, and holes in drywall in homes nationwide.… Read More »Unfortunate Child Named “Not Me” Accumulates 30 Life Sentences Worth of Grounding Due To Lying Children Nationwide
