Summer is here, and that means one thing: it’s time to watch in horror as your lawn turns into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Why fight it? Embrace the inevitable chaos with these five activities guaranteed to… Read More »5 Summer Activities Sure to Ruin Your Lawn
Ryder, the local young leader of the Paw Patrol, has long been a fixture in Adventure Bay. He is often seen gallivanting around town with his high-tech ATVs or overseeing operations in his pup-filled command… Read More »Where the Hell are Ryder’s Parents?
The U.S. Army is taking drastic measures to address dwindling enlistment numbers, they have taken recruiting efforts to new heights, or rather, new lows. In a scene that resembled some sort of absurd parody, military… Read More »Desperate Army Recruiters Visit Preschool, Sign Hundreds of New Recruits Who Don’t Understand the Seriousness of their Decision
Adventure Bay hasn’t seen this much drama since Mayor Humdinger was caught trying to bribe Officer Chase during an OWI stop. The town’s famed Paw Patrol have declared a canine revolt forming a labor union,… Read More »Paw Patrol Attempts to Organize Labor Union, Prompts Opposition by Leader Ryder
After seven long months of exile from his beloved dog park, a Golden Retriever named Bark Twain, has expressed his grievances, saying that while baby food scraps are a decent consolation, they are “nowhere close… Read More »Family Dog Has Not Been to the Dog Park Since Baby Was Born
In a revelation that has left northwest Iowa’s local community both stunned and scratching their heads, high school football sensation Ed “The Bulldozer” Benton has been unmasked. It turns out that the teen prodigy is,… Read More »Fumbled Identity: High School Football Star Unmasked as 23-Year-Old
Have you all seen the Australian children’s cartoon named “Bluey”? It makes me feel inadequate as a father. Bluey’s dad, Bandit, is a super-dad. He effortlessly dreams up elaborate games with his kids, fosters creative… Read More »Opinion: The Dad from Bluey Must Be Stopped
In an unprecedented move in the infant care industry, Enfamil, a leading infant formula manufacturer, has just announced the release of their latest innovation: Enfamil PM, a revolutionary baby formula that boasts military-grade animal tranquilizers… Read More »Enfamil Develops Tranquilizing Baby Formula with Help from Large Animal Veterinarians
In a shocking revelation, the local little league team, Scared Hitless, was caught attempting to steal signs from their opponents during their latest game. However, their attempts were quickly foiled when they discovered that picking… Read More »Little League Team, Scared Hitless, Attempts to Steal Signs, Finds Picking Nose Not a Real Sign
In a story that will undoubtedly leave you shaking your head and chuckling to yourself, a local father is reportedly convinced that his 6-year-old son is destined to become an NFL star as a quarterback,… Read More »Local Father Confident His 6-Year-Old Son Will Be NFL Quarterback – Destined to be an Unskilled Position at Best
