In a shocking revelation, the local little league team, Scared Hitless, was caught attempting to steal signs from their opponents during their latest game. However, their attempts were quickly foiled when they discovered that picking their nose, waving at their moms in the crowd, and putting their hands down their pants were not meaningful signals.
According to team captain Timmy Ryan, the Scared Hitless team had been studying their rival little league team, Bat Attitudes, for weeks in an attempt to gain an advantage with their “secret signs.” “We thought we were being so sneaky,” Ryan admitted, “but it turns out that our efforts were about as useless as a screen door on a submarine.”
Despite their failed attempts at sign stealing, the team remained determined to win their next game. “We may not have gained any inside knowledge, but our third baseman’s dad is the umpire, so we hope to gain an advantage that way.” said Ryan.
When reached for comment, the Bat Attitude’s coach expressed disbelief at the attempts at signal stealing. “I mean, we’re a 7-year-old little league team… Who do they think they are, the Houston Astros?” he responded.
In the end, Scared Hitless learned a valuable lesson: cheating doesn’t pay, but sometimes picking your nose is necessary.
