The Schwarz household plummeted into chaos last Sunday morning when Duncan Schwarz, renowned for his extensive toy collection surpassing the thousand mark, made a surprising declaration this morning. Despite possessing a plethora of toys ranging… Read More »Child Boldly Claims Broken Toy Coincidentally His Favorite One
In a move that has women all over the world baffled and bewildered, Hanes has announced the release of men’s underwear with pockets, basically delivering a slap in the face to women everywhere. In an… Read More »Hanes Releases Men’s Pocketed Underwear, Seen as a Slap in the Face to Women Everywhere
Nosey local woman, Sofia Snoopington, spent the better part of Saturday morning staring out of her living room window, pondering the profound question that she assumes the whole neighborhood is wondering: Is Shelby Stashmore next… Read More »Woman Contemplates Whether Neighbor is Organizing a Yard Sale or Undergoing a Hoarding Intervention
The AFC Championship game was interrupted with a bombshell that had fans and football enthusiasts alike doing a double-take: she’s pregnant! But that’s not all—Swift, notorious for her clever album easter eggs, shared that she’s… Read More »Taylor Swift Interrupts AFC Championship Trophy Presentation to Announce Pregnancy with Baby Girl Named Kelsey
The hopes of one large family has been plunged into a nightmare. Their mother’s recent purchase of an extra large mixing bowl has crushed their hopes of ever escaping the dreaded bowl haircut that all… Read More »Siblings in Shock as Mom Buys Extra Large Bowl, Shattering Dreams of Escaping Dreaded Bowl Haircut
10-year-old Ollie Tabooger announced Monday that he is “absolutely going to fight back” against his older brother, 14-year-old Johnny Tabooger “once he’s had just 6 or 7 more beatings.” “Mark my words, I’m going to… Read More »Little Brother Declares He’ll Fight Back After Big Brother Beats Him Up Just 6 or 7 More Times
Ticketmaster unveiled its revolutionary new “Pay-to-Play” daycare system today, in which parents can customize their child’s daily care experience based on a variety of subscription packages. “We believe in personalization,” said Tiffany Floyd, director of… Read More »Hugs for Sale: Ticketmaster’s New Daycare Turns Childcare Into a Pay-to-Play Experience
In a surprising and controversial move, the government has introduced a new national holiday that has left parents in a frenzy and employers infuriated. The holiday, officially known as “National Daycare Closure Day,” has caused… Read More »Government Declares National Daycare Closure Day – New Holiday to “Screw Over Parents”
In a bold move that is set to send shockwaves through their upper-middle-class suburban community, local mother Karen Slawson has made the decision to enroll her son, Timmy, in Krav Maga classes. “Krav Maga is… Read More »Local Mother Enrolls Son Brutal Israeli Martial Art of Krav Maga
