The Schwarz household plummeted into chaos last Sunday morning when Duncan Schwarz, renowned for his extensive toy collection surpassing the thousand mark, made a surprising declaration this morning. Despite possessing a plethora of toys ranging from stuffed animals to action figures, Duncan adamantly insists that the now-broken McDonald’s Happy Meal toy he found under the couch has always been his “absolute favorite.”
“It’s impossible to reason with him,” Duncan’s mother said, shaking her head in disbelief. “Out of all the toys cluttering our living room, the one he fixates on is the one he’s never given a second glance to before today. He doesn’t care about his Power Wheels Escalade or his dozens of Squishmallows, this stupid happy meal toy is apparently the only thing that has ever made him happy.”
Reports indicate that Duncan stumbled upon the broken toy during one of his routine expeditions beneath the furniture, a realm largely uncharted by adult supervision. Eyewitnesses claim his eyes instantly welled up with tears upon discovering the broken cheap plastic toy, promptly declaring it as his “favoritest toy.”
“It’s like he’s mourning the loss of something he never knew he cherished,” remarked one family friend, struggling to contain laughter.
Dr. Evelyn Toymacher, a child psychologist specializing in juvenile materialism, offered insights into Duncan’s peculiar attachment phenomenon. “In the world of child logic, broken equals beloved,” she explained. “It’s a classic case of reverse psychology, where the allure of the inaccessible trumps the appeal of the readily available.”
Meanwhile, Duncan remains steadfast in his assertion that the free broken toy holds unparalleled significance in his heart. “He even insisted on holding a memorial service for it in the backyard,” Duncan’s mother revealed, shaking her head in bemusement. “Complete with a eulogy and a moment of silence. Thank god it’s not a military toy or we’d need to do a 21 gun salute too.”
As Duncan continues to mourn the loss of his newfound “favorite” toy, the Schwarz family continues to try to distract him with one of his other, thousand toys. Although, as any parent can predict, they will just buy another new toy to add to the pile.
