In a move sure to appeal to millennial parents everywhere, Fisher-Price has announced the launch of a new line of musical toys featuring beloved hits from the 90’s and 2000’s. “I simply couldn’t stand to hear “Old McDonald” or “BINGO” one more time,” remarked one local parent. “For too long, parents have been subjected to the same tired tunes on repeat,” commented Fisher-Price spokesperson, Melody Rhymes. “With our new line of musical toys, we’re giving parents a much-needed break from the monotony while introducing their little ones to the songs of their youth.”
The new toy line features two distinct collections: “Pop Sensations” and “Old School Cool.” One focusing on pop hits from the era, including chart-toppers like Britney Spears’ “Baby One More Time” and Destiny’s Child’s “Say My Name,” and another showcasing iconic tracks from the genres of rap and R&B, such as Dr. Dre’s “Still D.R.E.” and Missy Elliott’s “Work It.” “Who wouldn’t want to jam out with their toddler to Snoop Dogg?” exclaimed one enthusiastic mom, “Finally, I can enjoy playtime without feeling like I’m losing my mind. Plus, it’s never too early to start teaching them about “The Hard Knock Life.”
As parents eagerly await the release of Nostalgia Beats, experts warn of potential side effects, including unexpected dance parties and a sudden increase in visits to thrift stores in search of Starter jackets, Adidas tear away pants and Jnco jeans. “Parents need to remember that while reliving their youth can be fun, it’s no substitute for actual parenting,” cautioned child psychologist Dr. Buzz Killjoy. “Sure, your kid might know all the words to ‘No Scrubs,’ but they still need someone to teach them how to tie their shoes.”
Rumors have spread around social media about a 3rd release named Grunge Guitar featuring Nirvana’s “Lithium” and “Even Flow” by Pearl Jam. As Fisher-Price prepares to roll out their musical masterpieces, one thing is clear: playtime will never be the same again. So dust off those dance moves, parents, and get ready to party like it’s 1999.
