As a mother, I often face unrealistic expectations and judgments from others regarding my parenting choices. However, there is one thing I absolutely refuse to worry about: matching my kids’ socks. I don’t give a sock, and you shouldn’t either.
I am well aware that some people may view mismatched socks as sloppy or lazy. Well, guess what? Keep your opinions to yourself, Karen. I don’t criticize your crippling Xanax addiction or your outdated Capri pants. Where’s the flood, Karen?
Just the other day, a father at preschool drop-off had the audacity to comment on my child’s socks. Oh, wow, Mr. Sock Gestapo, congratulations on your heroic mission to police the world of socks. Maybe you should report me to the Sock Police for a “sock wellness check.” And while you’re at it, go home to your wife, Kyle, instead of cheating on her.
Let me tell you something—I have no idea where half of these socks disappear to. They must go somewhere, right? They’re so tiny that it’s practically impossible to keep track of all of them. If I truly cared, I could just replace them all with the same style and color, and you’d be none the wiser. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe I should stop bothering to match my own socks as well.
Has it ever occurred to anyone that kids might find it fun to wear mismatched socks? It’s not like my child is sporting one snow boot and one flip-flop. Give me a break.
So, if you happen to see my kids with mismatched socks, please don’t judge me too harshly. Who knows, maybe one day they’ll start a trend, and mismatched socks will become the hottest fashion statement.
