In an unprecedented move in the infant care industry, Enfamil, a leading infant formula manufacturer, has just announced the release of their latest innovation: Enfamil PM, a revolutionary baby formula that boasts military-grade animal tranquilizers to ensure babies sleep for a questionably unhealthy 18 hours straight! Welcome to a new era of parenting, where your infant will outsleep your cat.
“We understand the struggles that new parents face when trying to get a good night’s sleep,” said Enfamil’s CEO, Sandy Snoozeman, in a press conference. “That’s why we’ve taken inspiration from large animal veterinarians to develop Enfamil PM”
Due to its patent pending formula, the company is keeping the exact details of the sedative ingredients under wraps. However, they ensure that it’s totally safe, don’t even worry about it.
As expected, the internet has exploded with reactions to the announcement. Some parents are hailing it as the ticket to a single, uninterrupted night of sleep, while others are raising concerns about the potential side effects of tranqing babies like an out of control circus bear.
Child psychologist Dr. Larry Slumber gave his thoughts, “While Enfamil PM might seem like a dream come true for sleep-deprived parents, we must tread carefully in altering natural sleep patterns in infants. After all, a baby’s sleep is essential for their development and growth. We don’t want them snoozing away important milestones!”
Meanwhile, competitors in the baby formula industry are scrambling to come up with their own versions of sleep-inducing concoctions. “We are working on a formula that combines benadryl, unisom, and melatonin,” said one spokesperson at an anonymous formula manufacturer. “At least you can pronounce the ingredients in our nighttime formula unlike our competition.”
Despite the controversy, Enfamil assures customers that the formula has been thoroughly tested on lab rats for safety. Sales numbers show it’s already flying off the shelves in a sleep-deprived frenzy. Parents are reportedly forming lines outside stores, armed with pillows and blankets, eagerly awaiting for their first night of sleep.
