In a story that will undoubtedly leave you shaking your head and chuckling to yourself, a local father is reportedly convinced that his 6-year-old son is destined to become an NFL star as a quarterback,… Read More »Local Father Confident His 6-Year-Old Son Will Be NFL Quarterback – Destined to be an Unskilled Position at Best
In local news, a man’s reaction to his six-year-old son’s excitement over catching a six-inch bluegill has raised eyebrows in the community. Despite the child’s genuine joy and enthusiasm at reeling in his first catch,… Read More »Local Angler Unimpressed by Son’s Tiny Catch
In a groundbreaking development, scientists have identified a newly discovered gene believed to contribute to a larger bone structure in some individuals, popularly referred to as being “big-boned.” This news has sparked excitement among sturdy,… Read More »Scientists Discover “Big Bone” Gene, Overweight Children Everywhere Rejoice
To the delight of children across the nation, the FDA has recently released a new study suggesting that consuming one wine glass of grape juice per day may reduce the risk of heart disease in… Read More »FDA Study Finds One Wine Glass of Grape Juice Per Day Lowers Heart Disease Risk in Children
In a remarkable victory for the shadowy cabal of trophy manufacturers known as “Big Trophy,” an alleged child psychologist with questionable credentials has emerged in support of the practice of awarding participation trophies to all… Read More »“Big Trophy” Receives Huge Win in the Push to Sell Participation Trophies
As a mother, I often face unrealistic expectations and judgments from others regarding my parenting choices. However, there is one thing I absolutely refuse to worry about: matching my kids’ socks. I don’t give a… Read More »I Don’t Care My Kid Has Mismatched Socks and You Shouldn’t Either
In a bold move that is set to send shockwaves through their upper-middle-class suburban community, local mother Karen Slawson has made the decision to enroll her son, Timmy, in Krav Maga classes. “Krav Maga is… Read More »Local Mother Enrolls Son in Brutal Israeli Martial Art of Krav Maga
Nickelodeon has recently announced a new children’s TV show inspired by the gritty mob drama, The Sopranos. Titled “Sopranos Junior,” the show will feature all the beloved characters from the original series, but in pint-sized… Read More »Sopranos Junior Announced at Nickelodeon, Sure to Be a Hit!
In an unfortunate incident at the local zoo, a father named Alex Smith displayed an alarming lack of understanding and patience when he discovered that the bears were peacefully napping out of sight, rather than… Read More »Local Dad Goes Bear-zerk at Zoo, Vows to Wrestle Bear Out of Hibernation for Bratty Son
In a stunning display of comedic ineptitude, a local child has been found to be exceptionally bad at improv during his playtime with friends. The seven year old child, whose name has been withheld to… Read More »Local Child Fails to Grasp “Yes, and” Improv Principle, Bores Playmates
